I think so far you are on the right path. Just understand your W is going to do all she can to be able to have both worlds .. sure she wants you home, but she is not going to admit to the EA obviously .... the line about OM being one of the sponsors ... well ""I miss you and want you in my arms." ... thats one helluva supportive sponsor ... total BS line and I would truth dart that one.
I think your boundaries are perfect but as Starsky suggested ... she needs to go full transparency, End the A, send a NC contact letter to OM.
Till then ... her mess, her choice .. she can choose the A, or choose to end it and begin to repair the M. Again ... her CHOICE not yours, you have stated what you can and can not deal with .. do not allow her to cake eat.
