I know how you feel ... something I noticed and maybe this will help you with those feelings about detaching and wondering why they are not pursuing harder.
As you may or may not know .. I have been separated almost 2 years now .. I will tell you it feels more like 4 months to be honest. In this time I noticed the same thing you described, I would desire her to pursue when she was'nt admitting I was horrible at detaching. But more than that I noticed when she would not pursue ... was when she had S, or she was all good and doing things with OM or one of her new and many hobbies. The only time over the 2 years she did pursue was when the OM was gone or out of the picture and she found herself home alone.
Lesson of that? She pursued when she was not GALing ... it really works both ways. And when I was GALing none of it mattered much .... BUT I will not lie .. I would GAL and get home, there for the next hour or two till I went to bed I would have the internal fight you just mentioned, its not easy but you will start noticing the small changes and it will get better.
