Trying to stay focus on me.....this is a challenge

[CindySy]

Thank you RosaLinda, yes I do find my old post, I am learning my way around this site much better now.

[CindySy]

You are amazing Asitis, your tips, suggestions, encouragements are so appreciated so much. I am blessed to have you helping & guiding me.

I take notes, I copy things and at night I re-read everything every day.

I have 2 IC, one social worker in my town & one psychologist in a bigger centre close to where I live, they both offer me very good self-help.

GAL is getting better and better now that I don't feel as guilty when doing things for me. I got a Kayak, I'm looking at getting a mountain bike & I'm looking at a craft weekend with some girlfriends & Yoga too.....I’m glad it's becoming easier.

THANK YOU AGAIN

[CindySy]

Pyrite, Thank you so very much, I feel so much support here it is so AMAZING !!!!

[CindySy]

Can someone please elaborate on male friends for me?

I had hear somewhere never to be seen alone with another man while going through this, is that true?

I CERTAINLY not want any relationship with an other man, I have too many things to work on myself but sometimes we find really good support & friends in the other sex without wanting anything else.

What are the suggestions on this

Thank you!!

[MrBond]

There are other sites (one in particular) that flat out condemn friendships with the other sex. Personally, that's ridiculous and hard not to do especially since they make up the other half of the population.

To me being friends is fine AS :LONG as you have those safeguards in place to guard yourself. Personally, I went out with many female friends during my sitch and what I did was gain valuable information about what they thought my W was going through. I never crossed that unspoken line.

Ultimately there is no "right" or "wrong" answer. It's up to you.

[CindySy]

Thank you very much for your opinion MrBond, we live in a very small town and as far as being seen by my H alone with a male friend.....do you think that it would spin things out of control in his mind & make things worse even if it is really just friends (H would not know that)?

[Wonka]

I want to add to Bond's comments about friendships across genders. It can be done. The other site is dead wrong and quite deep into fear mongering about platonic friendships. We all can be friends with the opposite sex without crossing the "unspoken" line for they enrich us.

Two of my late father's close friends were female and they've been friends over 25 years without crossing the line. I am forever grateful to those wonderful women. BTW, they are not plain Janes. They are attractive and very happily married to their husbands.

It can be done and it has been done since time immortal.

[Bob723]

Hello CindySy,

I totally agree with MrBond and Wonka. Hard not too. If you haven't found out already, they are 2 of our wonderful "Vets" who come back to this site so often to offer encouragement and words of wisdom to those of us in need. How caring is that? Giving back to us!

Wonka's last line in her post summed it up perfectly:

"It can be done and it has been done since time immortal."

I wish you well. Hang in there!

Bob

[CindySy]

I just wanted to make sure not to jeopardize all my hard work I am trying to do.

[Bob723]

Completely understandable, good thinking! That's why this forum exists. To ask such questions.

Hang in there please and good luck.

Bob