I thought your response to your h was perfect and I was impressed that he sent that message to you. While I understand you don't want a D, his message to you seems authentic. He recognizes and respects what a wonderful mother you are. That is awesome:)
Can I play devil's advocate for a minute? While I understand trying to work through your thoughts on who your H is dating, does it really matter? Yes, someone is going to say, "Phooey! Clare was uncomfortable with this R for years." Maybe. I get that. However, he may never make a grand proclamation of who he is dating. He may recognize that you had suspicions and that *announcing* this would appear a certain way. I'm babbling. Sorry. I guess my point is that you are correct. Sometimes we can DB until we have become a saint in Giselle Bundchen's body and the end result will be the same. I don't think your M never had a chance because of his *feelings* for his coworker. I think it may be that there is someone who is a better fit for you and perhaps him.
I think it is wonderful that you have worked so hard to address issues that have hindered you in many aspects of life. I know you said you were depressed for a while and it sounds like you are on the right track. You seem like a great lady and a fantastic mother. I have no doubt that you can be in a great R one day, when you choose to entertain that thought.
Don't worry about him smirking or feeling superior. If he chooses to announce to you who he is dating, you can simply shrug or smile and nod. If she seems like a decent lady, then that is more than sufficient. And then, keep moving forward.
Hang in there:)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
