Received another message from W that S13 knows that I am not in Dallas and is beside himself. Wants me to come home almost to the point of begging me.
Says I don't giver her space. Told her that I chose to stay away for awhile so she could have some space. Continues to tell me that there was no PA or EA with her friend. He is one of her sponsors at AA. Has told me that he no longer attends meetings with him, but continues to text for support. She also uses an alternate email since AA is anonymous and her email account is her full name. Although I have never seen the texts I don't believe this should change how I treat her. Sometimes I wished I snooped and looked at them. Does it make sense to snoop or does it do further damage? IDK
To me it sounds like an EA, but there is no point in arguing about it with her. In her mind they are just friends and it is pointless to convince her otherwise. To be honest she has had a lot of male work friends and I have never been threatened by them.
Ideally I did not want to come home for a few weeks but realize that with her work schedule it is not fair to put all the child care on her.
For the last few years I have been the primary care giver for the kids due to her work schedule. This has been a source of resentment for her although I have told her time and time again this is not a game and I am not keeping score, we are a team.
W has a series of medical procedures on Friday that will determine if she will be off of her feet for 12 weeks recovering from surgery. I took some time off to take her since she will not be able to drive - she was concerned that I bailed on her and I advised that I would still take her.
By now I think I have read everyone of Sandi2's posts about the WAW. I have stopped making contact and have tried to validate her feelings while we text. I realize that while I may have been doing a great deal with the kids I may have neglected spending time with the W - not that this is ever an excuse for an A.
She thinks that I am proceeding with a D. Truth be told I have never even uttered the words to her.
During the day I am trying to dig deep in my work and not think about the W. I know that I can have fun with the kids and be detached from the W.
