I think it's one of those changes that she will have to learn to trust over time, add in the ashame factor, she doesn't want me angry with her as she comes to grips with all of what happened. I feel in my gut it's like you went out and wrecked the family car and your terrified of what your father is going to do... Running away is a serious option type thing ... Hope that makes sense.
My frustrations were at an all time high pre and post BD, hated my job and felt I was stuck as W bounced from job to job ( I blamed her but looking at it, it was fear Of leaving a 17 year position... Not on her) I lost my father ( again not her fault but she often pulled the "you're just like your father card during monster before I knew what monster was) add in me being Mr Nice Guy and not knowing how to state my needs which lead to frustration and empty internet searching resulting in even more distance
So I think now I've arrived at a much healthier, stronger place and am still ok just being me as she and I attempt to work at this and accept the new versions of each other. I'm noticing small changes in her that seem to be things that have stuck, and she is continuing to be surprised when I'm not upset over the little things that used to set me off
