Cali has wise words. I guess this is the way I look at things now. I loved my h very much. However, I have learned through this process that although I have difficult times (and I'm quite certain I will have more),ultimately things work out the way they are supposed to. Maybe it's not the way I *thought* they should or the way I *wanted*, however it will be okay regardless of what transpires. You want to R with W, and whether or not that happens remains to be seen. However, you will and can be better than ever no matter what happens.
It sounds sort of hokey as I consider myself spiritual rather than religious. I genuinely believe that G-d, the universe, or whatever you believe ultimately delivers. We can only control ourselves and for a self professed control master, this is the most difficult aspect of all of this. Letting go can make me feel very anxious yet it also is what gives me peace (if that makes sense). Just *allowing* things to happen while knowing you are doing the best and being the best you can, can be frightening and freeing at once.
Hang in there. I think it's great that you are meditating and focusing on yourself and the kids. I know you have been through a great deal with your children so you are clearly a very strong woman. It really does get better:)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
