Well here I am...

[Cadet]

So how should I respond when she tells me she got a new car?

More importantly who is paying for this car?

[Wonka]

So how should I respond when she tells me she got a new car?

More importantly who is paying for this car?

^^^ leads to this other important question to ask yourself:

Is this a NEED or a WANT?

If it is not necessary, then don't buy the car because it is a marital asset and you'll be on the hook for it.



Edit - Exactly my point! - Thanks Wonka! - Cadet

[MikeMik]

I didn't buy the car, she had her previous car in her name only so she traded that in for something else so she could pay her car payment and eventually rent.

I couldn't stop her as everything was in her name only.

[Wonka]

Mike,

As you two are married, I would be careful to make sure that W finances it in only her name if she still wants to buy the car.

[MikeMik]

Thanks for the tip Wonka, I was not present when she bought the car which is a requirement to get the financing in my name. Also I have a lock on my credit currently and was not notified of any attempts to access it today.

[CaliGuy]

I didn't buy the car, she had her previous car in her name only so she traded that in for something else so she could pay her car payment and eventually rent.

I couldn't stop her as everything was in her name only.

Something for you to think about if this does all go south. Keep a log of these dates and purchases .... If you can get your W to later agree on a separation date legally .. then these things she has purchased after that date you would not be on the hook for .... when I went through mediation this was a big one as if our Sep Date was a month ealier my W would have been off the hook when she cleaned out the Joint Checkings and savings .. almost 10k. She also took out a loan from her 401k, which to me did not matter, but legally that was 1/2 my money .... it starts to add up (My case seperation at that time was 1 1/2 years) Also the car she drove was paid off (asset) my car lease (not an asset)

This stuff matters, I get you want to save the M, but in the mean time protecting yourself is essential ... and does plant a seed that you will not be walked over ... doormats are not attractive ... she might get pissy ... let her .. protect yourself.

[MrBond]

"I couldn't stop her as everything was in her name only."

That's more of your control.

[MikeMik]

My control? I don't get what you mean here?

[MrBond]

Look what you just wrote... "I COULDN'T STOP HER..."

That's control. You have to let all of that go. She has a right to do what she wants to and you should only be concerned with the actions that impact you or your S.

[MikeMik]

I understand what you mean now. Not that I tried to stop her or anything I just made that comment to illustrate that the purchase of the new vehicle did not involve me so it would not be considered a joint asset. I'm taking notes of everything as we go along.