Summer of Growth and Acceptance

[RosaLinda]

From your previous thread: Also, I assume they can go back and forth between anger and replay? It seems he has already been in anger, but maybe anger stays in replay.

BW, my ex has consistently been in Replay and Depression since his MLC started in Nov 2007. But he dabbled with Withdrawal a couple of times, and went thru Anger a couple of times. The Anger lasted for a few months at a time, and was awful. He became full of rage and hate and spewed the most hurtful things he could think of at me.

I got the "I love you but..." during his first Anger stage in Dec 2009, and he stayed angry thru the next spring. His last Anger stage was Dec 2013, and gave me the emotional strength to drop the DBing rope all together and file for divorce.

I found the best way to handle him during these periods was to give him a LOT of space, STFU, and say "I'm sorry you feel like that" before walking away. Job taught me that, and gave me the good idea of keeping a rubber band on my wrist to snap and remind myself to shut up

I kept the love alive in my heart during the previous years by reminding myself that LOVE IS A CHOICE, and choosing to love him. And by clinging to the hope that he was going to come out of his crisis any minute. I still hope that for him now that we are divorced, but am happily moved on LOL