Hmmm.... Maybe we can split the time if we both go back home even though spending any time with her is not fun or enjoyable now.
One thing my w has told me over and over again - even if the AP walked away tomorrow - our marriage is still OVER. I hear that and half of me thinks Yep MLC bs but the other half is doubtful. Maybe she is right it really is over regardless of this AP. That is why I am doing things for me - God consciousness, exercise, GAL etc...
Caliguy - did your wife say words to this effect??
If the only thing I get from this process is self confidence or to stop over analyzing every move or even to stop second guessing myself, I will be a better person. Maybe this process will help me achieve these goals.
Oh yeah ... Here are a few I almost had made into signs and framed
"This has nothing to do with OM" "You and I are like Oil and Water and ALWAYS will be!!" (24 years of oil and water but this one was her battle cry for about a year) "I have not loved you in 10 years" (Was 2, then 4, then made it all the way up to 10) "I will never go back to being controlled, I felt like a caged animal in that M" (The caged animal thing has been shared even with the fog somewhat lifted, still in discussion how she felt that way) "I'm all alone" ( Would be in between the A break ups or when OM was not 'there')
As far as the Friend thing ... GB is spot on .. I have said before I had no interest in being friends, told her I would never be friends with someone who lies, steals, and deceives me ... then shot a truth dart to the effect that it was a one sided friendship at best (Me giving her what she wanted/needed but she was not capable of giving me anything in return)
