Maybe it *is* what it looks like

[HelenaJ]

Wow, you were able to ascertain that from one post? No, I am not an alcoholic, but alcohol does change my personality. I'm trying to be fair by giving his perspective here, perhaps to the sleight of my own.

An admiration junkie....I see no truth in that for me honestly. I do like it when people like me of course, but I don't think I get any more affirmation from it than the average person. I have thought about that...do I really seek out this kind of attention? The other day, I found myself laughing and joking around with the gay IT guy while we waited for something to download on my computer. He thinks the jokes I tell are funny, so we laugh a lot at company events, etc. But I thought about our interaction afterward....it was very similar to the interaction I had with the straight guy at our company party....I truly had no sexual or flirtatious interest and I didn't mean to accept anything that was extended to me in that regard either....but the fact that I felt like I just had a fun interaction similar to that with a guy that was gay....affirmed for me that I'm not in denial on this subject. The problem with the company party was that I drank too much, lost track of time and the boundaries of what was appropriate. It was a loud bar and having a conversation pretty much mandated exclusivity bc you had to yell in someone's ear and exclusivity mixed with close proximity due to yelling in someone's ear....regardless of what it WAS, what it LOOKED LIKE is reality and I understand that and know I have to alter my behavior and I certainly will. My husband and I have talked to this person several times and I considered him a mutual friend by us both, so I was overly comfortable and it was a bad, bad mix. But I had no ill intentions and I am so, so sorry about disrespecting my husband like that whether I meant or not. And overall I feel pretty comfortable saying that I'm not an admiration junkie. But I do agree that I often have the inability to discern appropriateness as I assume everyone's intentions align with mine. Does that make sense?