a young man with hope II

[lnlyshp]

mahhhty, my friend, I am truly grateful that you keep bumping this thread.

Not much to update. We go before a judge on Monday to finalize the divorce. I am sullen and disappointed that I was not able to do what I set out to do - which ultimately was to save my marriage. There are things that I wish I would have done better during this time, but I can honestly say that I tried my best. My life still feels like its in shambles right now, but from time to time I see a glimmer of hope. Not all days are bad days. S is still doing great and growing fast. He made me one of those handprint-in-clay type of gifts for Father's Day, which was incredibly special to me.

In IC, I am working on controlling my anger and working towards forgiveness, which is a process. The belief is that I am feeling two strong emotions - grief over the loss of a companion and a relationship and anger at X for leaving and not even trying. My counselor has suggested several ways in which I can relieve some of the anger and when I'm not so angry and when I'm done putting myself into the victim role, I can finally begin to heal.

That's all for me lately. Just taking it day by day, trying to find the right track.

Thanks for reading, mahhhty, and anyone else who might skim from time to time. I will try and be more active with updates.