Apologies Mr Bond if I've done something to offend. It wasn't my intention. I was exploring your comment on her regrets. I'm only being honest as these are the things she told me (ok, some infered as well but in the main from her). I do appreciate the help.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Look. You know your W better than us. You are going to have start thinking about what those quotes mean on your own. Take a deep breath and think write those things down in a journal. Become a student of your spouse.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I have been pondering a lot lately about taking down pictures and packing up her personal stuff. I really don't have much time to do this or it may have been done already.
I have been pondering a lot lately about taking down pictures and packing up her personal stuff. I really don't have much time to do this or it may have been done already.
Yea. There seems to be two school's of thought on this. Mr Bond has been very helpful here. There are messages in her stuff. Just need to figure out what to do with that info. Like Mr B said, become a detective. I think I'll start by writing out some of the key messages, see where that takes me.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
NDY I can relate. We have 2 wedding pics that are painful for me to look at in our house and I've been so tempted to take them down but I just try to use them as motivation to remember how loving we both once were to each other.
She had a shirt on this morning with the Bible verse from 1 John 3:18 "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth" I was honestly offended when I saw her wearing it because everything she does is the opposite of love! But I am trying to focus on me right now, so I used that verse for motivation for me; to make sure my actions are loving.
PMA, right?
Me: 32 Her: 29 M: 5 T: 11 D2 ILYBINILWY: Jan 15 BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me) W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15 Papers served 6-3-15 Temporary Order 7-15-15 W Moved out 7-17-15
Yea, it's all so confusing. So on one had I get that she's screaming out a message as Mr B said. I've known this for quite a while but what to do? On one hand you have the train of thought which is 'Do what's right for you'. Well ok, I didn't like those pictures staring down at me. Like I said it's like a MLC all over my walls so I took them down. Felt better when I did but now I'm doubting that.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Well just ask yourself what your intentions are/were. If it was for you then I think you are alright, if you did it to tick your W off or to prove a point then next time you should think about it more.
I like in the DR book how it says to ask yourself "what is my goal" and then "is what I am about to do going to help me reach that goal?" If your goal was to get rid of the pain and frustration from those messages then it looks like what you did was alright.
Me: 32 Her: 29 M: 5 T: 11 D2 ILYBINILWY: Jan 15 BD: 2/13/15 (I found out, she didn't tell me) W filed for D after I confronted OM 5-27-15 Papers served 6-3-15 Temporary Order 7-15-15 W Moved out 7-17-15
Well just ask yourself what your intentions are/were. If it was for you then I think you are alright, if you did it to tick your W off or to prove a point then next time you should think about it more.
I like in the DR book how it says to ask yourself "what is my goal" and then "is what I am about to do going to help me reach that goal?" If your goal was to get rid of the pain and frustration from those messages then it looks like what you did was alright.
Thanks Kem. Yea, every time I saw them staring down at me all it did was make me feel uncomfortable about this. And it really reminded me of the really low points in the situation so I had to move them. I haven't destroyed or disrespected anything. I just wanted them out of view. IMO they were holding me back from detaching properly.
Interesting now that I think about it, W wasn't in my thoughts when I did it until she returned to the house yesterday. I wasn't expecting her to come in at all.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Hmmmm......What's going on here then? Mr Bond, what do you think the inspirational messages mean? It is difficult to see anything but negativity in NDY's sitch as his W is having an A and is constantly spewing at him. You say no 'handholding', so how about a finger pull?
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Huddy, I'm not sure I understand what your question is. I've already explained things. Only NDY can interpret what some of those messages mean because he has to see them in the context of his W.
And despite his challenges, I went through the same things before my M was saved. I was dealing with an MLC spouse and it was at least 3 years before she actually stopped spewing.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
