Serve the servants: Wayward Wife & LRT (7)

[Georgia Bulldogs]

T0,
Good to hear from you. You are right, nothing good comes from mindreading. Anyway, I really don't know who STBX is anymore.

Wayards are black souls with empty eyes devoid of vitality.

GB,
Whenever I'm feeling down, I will think of this ^^^. I love it.

In regards to STBX's mindset, she has a high school friend in town this week. Over the weekend, they're going to head out of town. Who knows where her head is at?

About that suggestion of a trip, both of us have to work July 4th. But, I thought now is the time to really pull back. I mean, she served me D papers on Friday.

You don't have to be reactive. I'd rather see you acting "as if". As if she belongs with you and you are a confident fun loving guy that she should want to be around.

Invite her and her girlfriend over for a cook out or something, then be a great guy and entertainer. Nothing better than having her girlfriend tell her "If you don't want him, I'd love to have him" or tell her "what the F are you thinking, he is awesome". Engage both of them and make your wife 'pursue' being the focal point of your conversation and attention.


IF your wife had filed for divorce, was still treating you angrily and was still confirmed to be dating and pursuing OM, THEN, I'd say it's time to "drop the rope" and wait for the affair to die. That's NOT your situation. I actually think your missing your opportunity to guide her home. Ignore the divorce filing. It sounds like she set the date a month ago when she was still upset about exposure and unsure. Her attorney made her set a date (way wards are highly susceptible to influence like that....her attorney likely knows how indecisive way wards are so he pushed her to set a date.

Of course, if you want a divorce, that is your right. But if you don't pursue her sometimes, she's going to stop pursuing you for good. Waywards think they are cool and have found the fountain of youth. Your wife is like a high school mean girl. She expects as part of her selfish entitlement to have YOU chasing her to prove you really do care and cherish her because the affair was, in her mind, partially your fault (if only you were a more loving cherishing husband she never would have considered cheating). It's not fair. It's a lie that she needs to untangle in recovery but it's her line of thinking today.


What's the point of GAL'ing if not to get your wayward wife to pursue you and have second thoughts? Defacto's wife is....so go for it in small intense and small detached increments. Heck, just FaceTime her and talk/listen. I spent HOURS even days talking my wife off the wayward ledge.