Ripken - WW filed for Divorce and I moved Out #5

[Ripken8]

Need the group's help on this - BIG TIME. Since doing DB - I've noticed changes in me and am proud of those changes - that's why we do this. I get it. However, she's not coming back. Still having the affair, filed and pushing the divorce, has taken lead on selling the house (now on market), taken lead on telling the kids and fine with no contact from me.

The go dark, 180 and GAL is helping me, but any relationship or contact with her has gotten progressively worse. She spews and is MAD and emotional at me - all normal I know.

While these things help me, I wonder how this helps the divorce proceedings. Her and her attorney are asking for a lot and my attorney seems to think they will get it and maybe more. IF that's the case, the only way I see that changing is if she agrees to negotiate with me.

The only silver lining in this is from the start we both agreed to 50% joint custody and that has been laid out from both attorneys and we both have been abiding by it no question. As much as she is hurting and hates me, there still a part of her that respects me as a father and wouldn't use the kids against me. If that part is still there, maybe being open with her and talking with her about finances could appeal to the other parts and help her see I'm not deserving of a messy divorce and neither of us should want that.

However, if I stay dark and justlet the lawyer handle things, it does make things easier for the next 4-5 months, but I'm worried it could screw me financially for the next 4-5 years.

What is the group's thoughts on inviting ww to lunch to talk about this and see if we can compromise? To tell her I want to pay her a fair amount and NOW. Also, I'm not the bad guy and we don't have to fight like this. I want to be as ammicable as possible.

I realize this is different than advice I've been given previously but from what I've seen over the past month, our contact has only been worse, she's stewing and emotional and as she's the one leading the charge in everything and seems to have all the cards, I'm not sure how sticking my head in the sand helps.