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So I just got an email from W stating what the temporary visitation schedule for S is going to be. Also, everything that has been mentioned thus far by her regarding D.

There was a paragraph in the back essentially driving the nail in the coffin of our R and M. Pretty much states that we are too different to ever be together again, she doesn't love me the way I deserve to be loved. There are several other statements that indicate her newly discovered self that doesn't involve me and (very limited) our S.

Now I have to decide after all that has been said and done what my next move should be?? Do I just give her what she wants and get it over with? Do I just say I don't agree with D and stick to my guns? I'm just so confused right now, I did not need this email today.


Me:36;W:31
M:5
T:7
S:2
ILYBINILWY: 4/28/15
BD: 5/17/15
W moves out: 6/13/15
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PM - great quote in sig. smile


M: 6 T: 12
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EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
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Originally Posted By: MikeMik

There was a paragraph in the back essentially driving the nail in the coffin of our R and M. Pretty much states that we are too different to ever be together again, she doesn't love me the way I deserve to be loved. There are several other statements that indicate her newly discovered self that doesn't involve me and (very limited) our S.


Mike, Sorry the email came at a bad time for you.

To her the M may be dead, nothing you can do about that other than to accept the old M you had really is dead. This doesn't mean a new M cant be rebuilt in the future.

She may feel you two can never be together again. However, feelings change all the time. I'm sure when you first got married she felt it was forever. That changed, just like her feelings now can so ignore that comment, its bs. No one knows exactly what will happen in the future. Keep hope you can rebuild the M, just don't expect it.

Don't let those comments about what shes feeling right now impact you too much. Leave her be for now and work on yourself. Even if she was to D you, that's not the end either. Its just a piece of paper. The only person who decides when this is the end is you.

Originally Posted By: MikeMik

Now I have to decide after all that has been said and done what my next move should be?? Do I just give her what she wants and get it over with? Do I just say I don't agree with D and stick to my guns? I'm just so confused right now, I did not need this email today.


You can give her the D if that's what you want to do. You cant stop it but you can slow it down, if you choose to. You don't just "get it over with" either, that's just despair talking. Things can improve but they always get much worse before they get better.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Fogg #2581061 06/23/15 11:30 AM
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"There was a paragraph in the back essentially driving the nail in the coffin of our R and M. Pretty much states that we are too different to ever be together again, she doesn't love me the way I deserve to be loved. There are several other statements that indicate her newly discovered self that doesn't involve me and (very limited) our S."

Don't pay attention to this. I think we've all heard a form of this speech one way or another.

"Now I have to decide after all that has been said and done what my next move should be?? Do I just give her what she wants and get it over with?"

Do you want it to be over? Who said you had to bend over and do what your W says?

"Do I just say I don't agree with D and stick to my guns?'"

If that is how you feel, then yes. You can just tell her that you understand how she feels and why she feels that way. And in the same respect she has to understand that you don't feel the same and will not help her to push the D forward but she can do as she wishes.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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MikeMik Offline OP
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My W is going to get a new car today...

I'm starting to think maybe this is an MLC? How can I tell the difference between a WAS and an MLC? Is there a difference?

From what I've read so far about MLCers is that I'm in for quite a long trial of ups and downs.


Me:36;W:31
M:5
T:7
S:2
ILYBINILWY: 4/28/15
BD: 5/17/15
W moves out: 6/13/15
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In terms of actions there is no difference.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Originally Posted By: MrBond
In terms of actions there is no difference.

Just to clarify OUR actions have no difference.


Me-70, D37,S36
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No I meant in terms of the actions of how the WAS acts there is no difference


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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MikeMik Offline OP
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So how should I respond when she tells me she got a new car?


Me:36;W:31
M:5
T:7
S:2
ILYBINILWY: 4/28/15
BD: 5/17/15
W moves out: 6/13/15
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Posts: 12,602
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Why do you think you have to respond in a certain way. What would you say if a friend bought a car?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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