Zelda - Goodbye my almost lover, my hopeless dream

[Vanilla]

I understand why you want D. I really know why you want never to see H again.

It's addiction pure and simple, it's withdrawal and only refraining from contact of any kind will cause the addiction to subside. The trauma and excitement are also attention for H and you.

WH is holding on to his supply of hope to recycle. The honeymoon cycle is amazing and enhanced addiction but the horror that follows.

But I get it, I really do.

I know that smile, that smirk, the one that says I pulled one over, I got you, the double bind had you. There are many terms for it but it's the one they do and gloat.

When I said to my H "I never want to see or talk to you again. make it happen". I meant it, "I will never be abused again" even though I may really want WH to mend his ways.

I need to be strong in my recovery, May 2 2015 was my horror day, it's 7 weeks and it is really hurting and painful. Like it was yesterday, and I haven't seen him since only texts. I really only respond OK and insist I know when he collects more stuff. People report what he says and I put on my earphones and I say I don't want to know. Dont tell me. H is drunk? So be it. H is sorry and says its his fault? OK, crocodile. H has rented a large house? That's interesting. H hasn't told his golf buddies he doesn't live here? His choice but I won't lie for him. Go away H, I will D you. Have a great life, I hope you get it together and I pray you do so that there is less damage for others and for you. I love you but I can't be with you as I love me more. Drama over but the attempt to abuse continues.

V