H called this morning. Actually asked how my day was going, first time in 35 days. He was kind and told me he wanted to see me not just our son and was looking forward to spending time together. He asked if I had made plans for the 4th, which of course I have for me and my son. We plan on spending it with my sister and her family. H said he would love to go, he said he loves my family.??? I felt like saying "Yeah, I know you love them...how about you figure out if you love me!". But I didn't! I stayed very quite and made no sudden movements-LOL!
Great move, Teach! Did you tell him that he was welcome to come? That would be an easy way to connect and by DB rules, just have no expectations that he will come that day. He might commit to it now and then back out. Either way, just keep your cool. It really is like training a wild animal sometimes!
*hugs* E
PS. PP, Did you tell your sister that 5 months is a blink on this board?
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Up late, guess my mind is racing. H tried his best to fight with me today.
Do not engage. He does not possess the ability to affect you emotionally anymore, is that clear?
He left. Let him deal with that. If he wants to be ugly about it, let him. That doesn't affect you because you are an emotional rock who is unaffected by his selfish and childlike behavior. You have your own set of standards of behavior and you will not yield that control of yourself over to another.
His words and actions DO NOT affect you...got it? You are cool as a cucumber. He does not possess the ability to push your buttons anymore.
Is this clear?
Let me put this bluntly. You are worried about reconciling a relationship that is already dead. Stop doing that. Work on becoming a woman only a fool would leave, so make him the fool for leaving you.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Thank you PatientMan! I do hear you. You and Matt both have told me to give up the dead relationship. That has hit home with me.
I feel surrounded by good advice and support. My S17 told me today that we aren't auditioning for him. He wants back in he can earn it or he can leave. He said stay skeptical mom because he doesn't believe anything he says.
This cool cucumber is working on planting a garden, going to spa in the morning, going shopping Wed, taking the boat out on Thursday-with or without H-heck I have a gang of 17 year old boys over here all they time...we can manage without him.
So today H calls, tells me his flight info and then tells me he put his ring back on. I didn't know what to say. I feel like I'm dealing with Incredible Hulk. Ring on mild mannered husband...ring off MONSTER!
I went to lunch with one of my oldest friends today. We have all been friends for 24 years. She told me they are very worried about me and my H.
I told me H they were concerned for him and he said they need to mind their own business. He is the one who called them and told them we were splitting up. I wasn't going to say anything to them at that point.
It's just so odd how he acts. He will be here around one tomorrow. He actually said he envisioned us all in a group hug-WTH???
That mans cheese has slid completely off his cracker!
Its clear you will have to be the rock in this situation. Don't let him push/pull you. He is trying to test the boundaries based off what he feels moment to moment. He's lost.
What is your plan for dealing with him and his instantaneous changes?
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
