Roommates for the Next Two Months

[DifRent]

Yeah Matt and PigPen... not having a JOB, it's probably clear that I had to put this on my credit card, too! I just did the three sessions, wish I could do six. Maybe after I'm gainfully employed and get this paid off, I'll sign up for more. I do think it was worth it, no matter the outcome, because this is so very important to me. The coaches (mine was Jody) have all this experience and have seen everything... and there is nothing new under the sun.

I've had my moments where I think it's been a big waste because it feels like we aren't making progress, but progress is measured differently in this world. Like I said, to wake up thinking things couldn't be worse, to having my coach say that there is great hope and my W is an "easy target"... well, that certainly did provide a ray of hope for me, but only if I take the long view.

The hard part has been my own daily fixation, if you will, on the affair and my W's insistence that we are over, through. Even her body language today suggested an internal struggle I've not seen in a while - some of which I attribute to prayer and God working on her heart, even as she resists Him. But some of it was due to the things I'd chosen to do differently today, and to a certain confidence I exuded after a successful interview for a job that I would frankly prefer to the one I've already been offered (though I'm quite content with the one I've been offered). She is very stubborn, and of course, wildly addicted to her current behavior and the OW. This won't come quickly, if at all.

If I can just accept that I can't change her behavior through my own will, but I CAN make an impact on her behavior by my own PMA and actions that are ultimately intended for my own good (and that view her through eyes of charity), then I'm ahead of the game.

All that being said - I'd say the feedback and support on these boards have been more helpful than the coaching. Certainly provides constant support and a sense of community. The coaching just ties things together, and puts a fine point on the strategies we learn in the book and work on implementing with each other's encouragement here.

Going to meet a new acquaintance for drinks in a few... she's a life coach, and I wonder if she's going to try and reel me in as her newest client, lol.