TLEE86 Part IV

[TLEE86]

Re the ring thing, I guess it's our values against theirs. I would say it's plain old immature. But maybe just a different way of seeing M. One that I will not respect, but good for thdm if they find someone who cherishes it equally as little. I thought I was hearing things when my H said 'break up with you' during course of M like we were just dating. No one deserves to be jerked back and forth!

I keep thinking about this Z. And its difficult not to. I keep wondering, WHY did she decide to put it back on, however long that may have been, and WHY did she post a picture of it online. My IC told me its one of the first "actions" W has done besides talking and i should be happy? idk... I know these questions will never be answered right now, but its just hard to not think about it. So..random, so out of the blue. Maybe just how she was feeling at that particular moment in time...yea, it was nice seeing it on her finger, though its off again now. =/

The board is a continuum for me, posters come and go, Some of us especially those whose lives have a strong destructive invalidation element are here for much longer. Our paths are harder and there is more struggle in recovery, our Ms are harder to repair, our spouses have more complex issues, they are abusers or in As and are lost to themselves.

The decision to leave the army would be a very important one for you. You speak of such pride and hope when you discuss your prospects and achievements. The career you have is your bedrock and I would be concerned if you gave that up in haste

V- I'm trying to get back on this board and start following others again, and all the new people that unfortunately are here. Sometimes, its just hard to keep reading the same thing over and over and how there is just so much pain out there. I truly appreciate your thoughts, and I'm sorry i don't write too much on your thread, i honestly don't know what to say...as far as the Army, I'm still wondering about it, but i think i found a solution where i can do what i want for a little longer and still get out around the time i wanted to. idk, more to follow.
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This is more to vent, as sometimes i don't know who else to talk to. Some thoughts that are swirling about my head, more from things W said recently.

She told me "Thank you T for being so good to me. I miss the dogs, Alaska, the simplicity of everything back then, and a known path/future."

And this just keeps going around and around my head...like..im good to you? Didnt you leave because you thought i treated you horribly? and you miss all that stuff? Isn't it what you left? Whats stopping you from...not being gone. Nothing...

she also made a comment regarding her working, saying that she liked being a stay at home wife, but that the relationship took the toll and she should have done more for herself while staying at home. I havent really figured this one out...

And yes, Ill say it again, I know wondering about these things doesnt help, but hey its my brain and thats what its thinking at the moment =/