t33 sorry you are here ... reading this I trust you have read the books.
Just a few things I see, advice I can give ...
Your wife is in an A, I would not trust a single word, not one ... Believe NONE of what they say and only 50% of what they do .. I have found this is a safe thing to live by while they are wayward.
Biggest issue ... MC while your W is actively in an affair is a COMPLETE waste of time and $$$ .... stop now, you really need to DB here first, if your wife wants to commit to you and the M, she will end the affair, agree to full transparency and write a NC letter, let me save you a year of hurt here and do not make that mistake like I did.
The job ... yeah .. putting hopes that will end the A is similar to changing your shirt to stop smoking. But you are spot on .. she needs to end this, it will run its course or won't but you allowing her to cake eat, there is no reason for her to end the A, she gets all the stability with you and her emotional and physical needs met by him .... they are not sleeping together but she admits they continue to kiss and you are ok with this>???? Time to set some boundaries ... serious ones.
REad Cadets homework ... read a few twice!!
Sandi's 37 Detaching GAL
Post here often ... tons of very smart people will help you
