During MLC, crisis people can become very resentful and jealous of their children. Why? Because they have traveled back to the time whereby they were stunted emotionally. In many cases, they will select one child to "pal" around with. This child will be the one that doesn't question and/or challenge them in any way. They adore their parent, i.e., their parent can do no wrong.
What I have taken from your posting is that your son is old enough to stand on his own two feet and defend himself towards his father. Your h doesn't like it because it reminds him that he has to be a parent and he's being called on his behavior, etc.
Yes, they do become very, very selfish and entitlement becomes their middle name. So, he's purchased and/or purchasing all of the adult toys these days. It won't be enough to satisfy that empty void in the pit of his soul. He'll love the toys for a bit and then when the newness wears off, on to something different.
As for the way he speaks to you, i.e., putting you down, etc., don't put up w/it! If you don't like the tone or how he's speaking to you, advise him that you will be more than happy to have a discussion w/him when he settles down and can speak to you in a more respectful tone.
MLC is not a ticket for them to use for their bad behavior and no one should have to put up w/the verbal, physical or emotional abuse. You can change that by calling them down on that behavior and then walking away. Do not engage in heated discussions and/or defending yourself...just shut him down w/advising him that you will be happy to have conversations w/him when he can speak to you in a more respectful and calmer tone.
His problem? He's acting like a two year old having a temper tantrum and he wants what he wants when he wants it. Guess what? The world doesn't revolve around him and he will learn that as he travels the yellow brick road on the way to the land of OZ.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
