Heavy ... I assure you .. its not you in crisis but this thing does make one stop and ask that question. I could easily argue it was me in MLC, I would go Monster, bought new clothes, IC, a Harley, lost weight .. worried about my looks ... heck I might have to really think this all over again. But no ... we are doing what we can to continue to live, our journey has similarities on the surface but deep down they are in a serious fog and do not think clearly.
I question the fact I stood ... was it becasue I was weak? Because as a child I witnessed my mom cheat and my father stood through that, maybe because I was afraid of living without her?
No ... I stood because even before BD, even before she left, before I found this forum and discovered whawt MLC was ... I knew deep down the woman I loved and married was not right, was a sickness I could not see and I knew it deep down. So I stood to see her through it .. even if that resulted in D and she was happy with another person. I made peace with that and let her go ... as I thought and deep down hoped .. she was in crisis and had to go through these stages on her own. I am lucky as it appears she is working out ot them. I am also lucky that all the pain, hurt, and destruction caused is now on the table and its obvious for me it was for a reason .... I would not have changed without her MLC crisis ... nor would she. Regardless if we remain married ... I feel we both will be better people after this hurricane passes and will rebuild.
Trust the process, use the time for YOU ... I wish I would have done a better job at this right now. Its hard I know but it all makes sense to me now.
The laughing thing ... its an attempt at searching for a new button. Stay ahead of her.
