Roommates for the Next Two Months

[DifRent]

Maybe so, Fogg. But what's done is done now. I'll try to refrain in the future. Ironically, I suspect from how my computer has been left upstairs that my WW has read through the Skype messages exchanged between me and my best friend through this crisis. Not that I really care - in fact, it was probably good for her to see some of what we said. But - why would she bother if she doesn't want to be with me anymore? Why did her curiosity suddenly get the better of her?

On another note, I wonder if anyone here has worked with one of Michele's coaches? I just had my last call, and it's kind of amazing how I can feel going in that things couldn't be worse, but my coach called my W an "easy target." Said the following things were reason for hope, even as my W says, "We are never getting back together again..."

- W still craves physical touch (which is her love language), so when she initiates it, as she tends to do, lean into it
- W sometimes expresses remorse for the hurt she's created
- I just got a job (and actually today had a good interview for an even better one)
- W isn't broadcasting the changed status of our relationship to many people yet
- W doesn't have an immediate plan to move in with the OW
- The new place she's moving into is sketchy and she won't want to be there long, might even feel her self-perceived "failure" more keenly
- She is not moving out until mid-August - which is a lifetime in which to effect positive change, coach says, in DB years

So... what does the group think about all this? She suggests I also find ways to ask her advice about things (regarding my new job, for instance, or help with fashion), and try to make sure that every time we part, she is left with a good impression/memory of me, rather than a negative one.

I'm not going to lie... asking her advice is going to be hard. Not recoiling from her touch is going to be hard. But the coach said every time I do that, no matter how much she insists we are done or heads off to continue the affair with the OW, I will sow conflict. She also said don't use the word "separation" regarding our pending move... use the word "space." We both need space.

And that's true. What does the group think of this counsel?