You are looking at Mr Angry ... well .. thats who I WAS anyways. And yeah you have to get a grip on it as it is one of those controling emotions that when you let the rage take over you feel like a passenger and the operator of a bulldozer at the same time .. knowing you could unleash the fury and level everything ... but knowing you have to hold back as the destruction would eliminate who you really want to be. I get it .. I do.
I can not tell you one specific thing I did to get it under wraps ... but most revolved around my faith honestly. The morning walks I use to talk with God, ask for Wisdom above all things, this allows me to see what is going on more clearly and avoid/side step my buttons being pushed .. because the MLCr LIVES to push those buttons, its how they keep us on the line.
Heavy .. understand this for what it is, refuse to ride the tornado, allow yourself permission to hop off the carousel and let her ride it till she wants to get off ... calmly and self assured tell yourself this is not who you are, her crisis will not define you ... is it fair, no ... but its your choice as to how much this will eat at your integrity.
You have this ... let her run around blindly .. you can rise above it and look at this from an entirely new perspective once you cut those ropes that have you attached to closely to her.
About the Family thing .. I called it fake family time and like you I could not do it either ... not till I got to a place I could care less if she was there or not. Sometimes I would do it ... others .. no thanks or I would not invite .. I did not have to have her there to enjoy things. Its ok either way its about what YOU can and can not do.
