It sounds more like you are journaling rather than actually interacting with the people here.
For your own sake and your children's sake your DB-ing needs to focus on getting best settlement for you financially with the most access to the kids. You can't NICE her back. The only thing you can do is show strength, self-respect and backbone.
You don't have to go visit her house or hang out with OM.
You DO need to try and get your game on just so you can survive.
