just catching up with new threads. A lot of good advice here already. I see MrBond has chimed in. DO NOT dismiss him. he is .....blunt. maybe he doesn't like to type much, but what I could take a page to write - he will sum up in a sentence.
this is raw for you. very raw. we have all been there and experienced the next step and the next. Some, the vets, Cadet, MrBond, Job et al have more experience with this than you or I could imagine, so read and re-read their posts. Consider them and respond if you can. Cadet's earlier post
Originally Posted By: Cadet
NO you can not convince her of anything, stop trying to. She must come to these realizations on her own, detach and put the focus on YOURSELF not her!
That is what you need to do. That is all you need to do. And everything will work out. Whatever happens in the future.
Your sitch with R, baby, breakdown - it is so close to mine. My M went through a 2nd baby, more breakdown, resentment, unhappy M, EA, BD, PA, and now she is off, a lovesick teen. I am/was appalled at her priorities. (Relatively) ditching the children etc.
Still - she might come out of it, she might not, she might never want our M - NONE of these do I have any control over.
I agree with you that a friend, recently D'ed can be a huge influence. This was also in my sitch. My best man also had this happen to his fiancé. She snapped out of it thankfully. Your W has seen or been shown at least the grass on the other side of the fence. It looks greener than M, responsibility, life. She could turn around, on her terms and on her timeframe, but you can't control that.
I am impressed by how rationally, maturely you have handled this so far. I know you are but concentrate on your son. At two he doesn't realise that's isn't just the way life is, but he does know when Daddy is distracted, upset, etc. This is the way life is for now and the near future.
L-ing is essential to protect you and your boy. The earlier you get advice, real legal advice, the better. I just made it in time. Also, importantly it gave me self-respect that I am standing up for me and the kids. Get "whatever" formally documented if you can.
good luck -Py
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
