I have this weird feeling inside of me that I can't quite put a finger and I've never felt before. It's like I need to cry but cannot force myself to do so?
I'm in a fog most of the time and thoughts race through my head from one emotion of 'she'll get through this on her own and come back' to 'she left us and no longer wants a family you are on your own'.
I know I need to prepare for the worst and move on like I don't need her but where do you find the strength each day to face this? The only people that know are my family so far, everyone at work is expecting the same person but it is very hard to pretend.
The one thing that did happen over the weekend was her parents reached out to me via email and offered to talk without taking sides or any judgement. They live out of state and from the tone of their email they are wondering what is going on with their daughter (at least from my perspective). I answered them and said thank you for the offer and I will give them a call later this week.
I'm in agreement with Fogg. This is normal and it's cyclical. So you'll have some days better than others.
Think baby steps... You're not trying to make the full leap to detachment in one step. But a bunch of little ones. It happens over time.
Let the emotions process. Some find it beneficial to write to get them out.
The best advice I can give... you own your emotions long term. You can take control and help yourself into a better state. This doesn't define YOU. It's an experience. Its also ok for you to be kind to yourself.
Find people who you can express things with. An IC can be really helpful.
For your S, it's important that you validate his emotions as well. It's ok that he sees you having emotions with a healthy response, but you don't want him to have a picture in his head of you being overwhelmed as a blubbering mess either.
My S was verbally threatened by my STBXW. He had a lot of fear every time he was around her. So in addition to the normal divorce stuff, I had that to help with as well. You can do it.. you're a man... own your next steps regardless of how big... they're yours.
When you talk with her parents, don't be judgmental of her. You don't want to push them away. You know in the end, she's still their daughter and that's ok.
Me: 45 W43 S7, Foster S9 (Planning to adopt post divorce) D mentioned Feb 2015, Wife served 3/24/2015. She moved out 4/15/2015.
