well, friends. I made a solid effort to DB my marriage. But as I realize what's happened, it's clear there wasn't much of a chance. My STBX is dating a woman he has worked with for a number of years. Their friendship always seemed a bit inappropriate to me; he was always defensive about it. While I am fairly confident there was no PA while we were together, he certainly had feelings for her. My M never had a chance.
I'm still very much grieving, even though there was so much wrong in our relationship, even before we got married. But I wanted to share a recent exchange we had, subject line: Thanks. I tried to respond easy-breezy. What do you think?
H: "Claire, thank you for all the work and thought and care you put into making [the costume] special for D4's [special class event]. I love the way it looks, and I know you made all of that happen. As father's day approaches, it's important to acknowledge and re-affirm that regardless of our relationship, D4 has a phenomenal support system, and especially that her mother is a standout in so many ways.
My response: Thanks for this kind note. Yes, D4 and I had a great time making that costume! Who knew I was so crafty!
Over the past 18 months, he's told me that he admires how I've handled myself, has called me brave, told me I was 'his savior' when I helped with childcare during a family emergency, and apparently I am a "standout" in many ways. And yet, not once has he reconsidered his decision or been willing to attempt to work on our marriage.
What.a.fool.
So, I'm moving over here because there is just not much to discuss for me at newcomers, and I don't feel ready to be a great support for anyone else. Looking forward to hearing some inspiration from the folks on this board. Thanks.
