It has been a while of no contact. Today I dropped d's off. We texted about schedule stuff. I told her I need to know some plan stuff. What are we doing with kids, us, money, things like that. We never talked about it before and need to start now. She then came back with, "she doesn't see anything changing with her, and that kids are 50/50, and everything else will depend on her job after school, she then said since neither of us could afford divorce, it would just have to wait." I said okay, sounds like everything is dependent on your future. She said she was broke, didn't know how she was going to do school stuff either. It gives me time to try and be better for her I know, but it also tells me she is still just moving on with her life. I will go back to being no contact, I think it's getting to where I just want to give up. I am hating being alone for basically over 2 years and just want some finality in it all. However, I also figured out today that I do still care, I do still want to keep trying. I do want to be better, I'm still sick of the way I have lived and the way I treated others. Everyone says just move on get a divorce and get on with life. Makes it hard to focus on anything positive. Just venting I guess for the day.