Can it be another round?

[BrightFuture]

Bea, thank you. I do have may friends here. But, sometimes I think that I my sitch is so not relevant anymore, I just don’t want to bother people with the details and stuff. It also feels like beating the dead horse…

Despite all of this I realise I remain fond of my xh - don't like what he has done, am not in love with him, but there is a deep and long standing bond between us which is not dissolved. It may, one day, but I am not pretending it has at this point.

Thank you for this! I was trying to put this in words. I feel like there is a bond between me and H, and I wish it would go away, so I could have my life back. I think for me it is just never going to be fully resolved, and I think it will never be for him either... This is what makes me sad.

Job, thanks for your continued support. I never expected to be in this grieving process for so long. As for H’s behavior… I don’t know… Sometimes I think that he always was like that, just masking it for some time, playing family, playing a good H and good Dad…

FY, thanks for the insights. I do think and feel that he had the best M with me. He will never have anything like that with somebody else. In spite of some disagreements, we were very suited for each other. I’m getting tired of this sitch, you are so right about it. I just don’t know what I can do, except to file for D. I did something different a few days ago. Well, it just came out, I didn’t really plan for that. I sent H the updated company file back, and I was not exactly plain business. I was a bit of playful in my e-mail, just a little. Said “Cheers” at the end instead of “Thanks”. Sooooo… Dead silence… I guess it didn’t go well… Oh well… Who cares... The dude wanted to be friends, and now he is intimidated with a cheerful response. Or, not intimidated… I don’t know…

Expecting my GF from a different state today. She is “stopping by” on her way from a vacation trip. Have dinner in the oven and a bottle of wine ready…