Just Fishin'

[mahhhty]

Father's Day was good. Slightly hectic. Spent two days working on the kids new playground. We were mostly rained out today, so I played with the kids all morning. We made the both Grandfather's Father's Day Cards. Played many different games. Did some laundry as a group & even some cleaning.

Twice randomly throughout the day my D came to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Both times when asked why, she said "Just Cause." I love that. I love the relationship I have focused on and helped nurture with my kids in light of this tragedy. I still maintain that this will not be my life's defining moment.

On the other end, the X has been odd on the nightly calls (I thought I heard her crying last night), and when we talked today she didn't even wish me a Happy Father's Day.

I came up to speed on Bob's thread today (its sooo hard to stay up to speed on that thing, he flies through pages and pages in just a couple days... Good job Bob!). In doing so I saw some notable quotes I copied over from Sandi.... In my mind these quotes/comments solidify the idea that although she left and was the driving force to getting divorced, I believe she holds me accountable as "the reason."

"It has been my experience, while sticking around the boards these past eight years, and reading this type of emotional, radical, wide swing shots that could be summed up and put in a thimble, by saying you are the reason for all the wrongs in her life. But instead of dealing with it like mature, rational person would do........
she uses you for the scape goat. She feels that relieves her of the sin or responsibility. She believes you deserve to be the one they make accountable, not her.

The icing on the cake is when she comes back around to ask you to gather, pack, and deliver her things. Of course you feel setup! I believe anytime a WW is vicious in one message and blaming it on everyone except owning her behavior, then the next message will be her requesting you give of your time to go through her things and pick out the designated items and package them to mail.........I think it is much like preparing a goose for dinner. First you slay him, then buttering him up real good, and then turn up the heat....

This seems to be very common with WW's. IMHO, it is b/c of their self-centerness and putting themselves and their needs first. They believe they deserve to get everything (b/c of the years they had to put up with the H, and this is their time to be happy, etc.), regardless of the strain it makes for the H. Rarely will a WW think fairly, b/c she can't rationalize. It may sound perfectly logical to her ears, but that's b/c she is seeing how much she will benefit from it. "