I asked my XW if I could see the kids this morning as its father's day. She agreed and I had a couple of hours at the park with them. It was nice but both the kids were in a 'I want mummy' mood which is heartbreaking for me.
OM1 was introduced and from D4s perspective it went well as she told me all about him and his flat in London.
When I dropped the kids back we had a chat that went along the lines of
J: I'm glad the introduction went well, D4 seems to like him
XW: she's only met him once
J: well it seems like it went OK and he makes you happy which is the important thing.
At that point S2 said bye daddy and started closing the door on me. (Even when he's throwing me out he's very cute)
When I got back to mine I sent her a text thanking her for sorting out the father's day card and present from the kids and also saying (because I know how much she misses her dad) that I know its not the easiest day for her and that I hope she has a nice time with the kids.
There's no way I didn't come across as a hurt and sad about the developments but at the same time it's also clear I'm getting on with my life.
She made her choice and that's it really.
So that leads me onto Toots reflecting a question back at me. How do I feel about divorce. Inevitable is the short answer.
How do I feel about my wife. Well I still love her, as much as the day I married her. And I'm sad that I don't get share my life with her but I also recognise that she is happier this way and all I wanted was for her to be happy so I can be at peace with what's happened even if I don't like it.
I had my chance and for all the whys and where fors, for 4 years she was miserable and felt alone. Whether all of it was my fault or none of it, doesn't actually matter as what she felt is how she felt. And she wanted out.
All i can do now is accept that, and live my life accordingly.
Second best is that she lives a long and happy life with OM1 and that he is a good stepdad to my kids. I may or may not meet someone new but I will be OK regardless.
So onward is all I can do and I'm slowly figuring out the positives in that.
So turns out not as quick an update as I thought.
Have a good evening all
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
