The Dance of Uncertainty Continues...

[PigPen]

Thank you all for your insight, Wonka this is great advice. And V for all of your support and wisdom.

I'm going to call Chuck this week and put together a solid game plan but I will certainly study up on the validation cheat sheet as well.

Originally Chuck and I had agreed to use the 9th step - where I would lay everything out for her, take ownership for all of the lies and misdirections, making her feel crazy etc. That was the original purpose or at least the reason for us getting together with the therapist.

Unfortunately, I think I may have made a mistake by emailing her and asking her to do that with me. Included in the email I said that I had not been 100% honest in my past and wanted to do so. I was following a script off from my sponsor on setting up one of these conversations.

I now believe that it has made my W (who has a traumatic history) may think (mind reading I know) that I'm going to tell her all kinds of awful things when in fact my purpose was just to take ownership for what she already knows. That may have been the reason for the difference in attitude when speaking with her cousin and speaking with me. At least I hope so.

She did say that although she's forgiven me and herself, that there would some good from hearing me out. I believe so too, but will ask Chuck how much I get into.

My goal is to listen, listen carefully, stay focused on the future, and make it clear through my actions that I've made significant change. I believe I have, on every front of my life other than missing her and wanting to have the kind of M that we both wanted.

Thank you again Wonka, and everyone that posted this week. Speaking with my W yesterday has still left me in a bit of a slump today as it always makes the apparent distance so much more, well, apparent when we hang up.

Happy Father's Day to all of you DB dads that are still her fighting the good fight.

Stay strong everyone.

PP