Zelda, have you read anything on codependency, I can't remember if you had. There are some pretty good books / articles on the topic. If you pick up 'codependency no more' you will see me described on pg 13,
Seriously though I would bet you would find an avenue to understanding some of those questions you are posing about yourself. It will Absolutely h3lp you in future relationships, not just romantic in nature.
Have you ever contacted your first love again (if he is not attached)?
