Yeah Matt, getting texts like that make you wonder for a second. But then I remember she served me D papers Friday morning. This is going to be a long journey.
Speaking of texts... While on my absolutely exhilarating hike, STBX sent me a TM.
W: Want to go see a movie with the kids and me? Me: (an hour later) Thanks for the invite. Can't make it today but have fun! W: Anytime!
Oh, you know, just another Saturday matinee with two soon-to-be divorced parents and their two innocent children. Totally normal and healthy. Yeah right.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Hi Defacto, I'm sorry to hear that your W has filed for D. But I think you are handling things well. It sounds as though your W may have some conflict. However, I think you need to continue on your own path. She knows already this isn't what you want.
If she wants something to change, you won't miss it for sure. Just keep moving forward as if this is how your life is going to be. And if you choose to leave the door open a little ways - your W may or may not push it open further.
Good luck to you xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Mvg, I have no idea what motivated STBX's TM. I can only focus on my happiness right now.
Toots, Thanks for the support! You are absolutely right. STBX knows good and well what my stance is. I only lessen the impact by repeating it. I actually feel good about where I am right now. I know it's true when I say that I will be fine either way. If STBX ever wakes up, she knows where to find me.
Journaling: I just got back from the pool and plopped down on the couch to watch a movie. STBX calls. I ignore it. She then sends a TM that says she is outside my house because D4 wanted to see me.
As I step outside my front door, D4 comes running toward me, wishing me a happy Father's Day. I gobble her up and squeeze her tight. They all come inside for a few minutes and D4 gave me half of my Father's Day gift. D4 asks if she can spend the night with me tonight. I smile and say that she can't tonight because daddy has plans.
During the unexpected visit, STBX put her hand on my knee for a few minutes while sitting on the couch and she initiated two hugs to tell me happy Father's Day and that I'm a great father. Of course, I employed Sandi's advice of returning the hug like you are hugging your grandma.
I will never complain about a visit with my kids even if it is unexpected or unannounced.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Then, I talked a little bit more with the kids. I began to say my goodbyes when STBX turned the phone towards her, started to get a little emotional, and said, "I really do love you. There's nothing I regret."
While I was out, STBX called and sent three TMs. I didn't answer or reply. The first TM was a video of the kids dancing. She sent the next TMs two hours later.
"I wish we could be ok." "I'm heartbroken."
While on my absolutely exhilarating hike, STBX sent me a TM.
W: Want to go see a movie with the kids and me? Me: (an hour later) Thanks for the invite. Can't make it today but have fun!
She is pursuing you. Either you did not fall apart and plead, the way she expected, or she's trying to have her foot in both worlds.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
She is pursuing you. Either you did not fall apart and plead, the way she expected, or she's trying to have her foot in both worlds.
Hello Defacto,
I see Sandi replied. She is the expert, as you know, so I have nothing to add at this time. You heard it from the best.
Defacto, keep you the good work.
I think about you often.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
