my story

[hope567]

Early on, I did the typical begging, convincing, etc approach. Was so confused, lots of tears & mornings where it was tough to get rolling. Since then, I have tried to have a much more calm demeanor, no more attempts at appealing to her logic or sentimentality (both are gone). I still find it hard to be a relaxed happy person around her, some days are easier than others, and I do try to fake it even when I'm not relaxed. At this point I am still trying to DB but find myself more accepting that perhaps this will end & questioning whether I could even have a relationship with her. I know that if she came to me with a desire to patch things up, I would want to try. But I am at the same time growing more comfortable with idea that perhaps we have in fact reached the end. Unless she has a big change of heart, she is currently really far removed from a person I would want to be married to, and did a lot of really really crummy things to me that are hard to ignore. So am I DBing? Yes. Am I questioning whether I want her anymore? Yes. Maybe this is all a part of detachment, though I'm afraid that once I turn that corner of detaching, I may not be able to go back, even though I love my family more than anything I will ever accomplishing this planet.