My exhausting life part 3

[Kembo05]

Thanks toots, I think I'm leaning towards not saying anything. It just really bothers me she has this "I win" or "she wins" mentality. Like I'm pridefully trying to get my W back so I can say I won?! That's ridiculous. I want my family to win, and my D2 to win...

[Bob723]

Thanks toots, I think I'm leaning towards not saying anything. It just really bothers me she has this "I win" or "she wins" mentality. Like I'm pridefully trying to get my W back so I can say I won?! That's ridiculous. I want my family to win, and my D2 to win...

Hi Kembo,

Isn't Toots awesome? I agree with your thought about not saying anything.

Sometimes, less is more.

Chin up!

Bob

[sandi2]

My W has even said when my D2 starts asking questions we should sit down and decide what we are going to tell her. I told her I was going to tell her I didn't want this and I did everything I could. I'm not going to lie for you. Now, I know I just can't trash my W in front of my D2 but she wants it to be the stereotypical "oh we just grew apart" FALSE, I will NOT say that.

I wish you would have answered your W by saying, "I plan to always be truthful with our daughter". Let W fret about that one!

The WW doesn't want their kids knowing the real truth behind the divorce. Funny how she wants all the details about what you will do when you have D2 now (which is simply her wanting to stay in control), and even tries to make you believe she has that right just b/c she's the mother. Well sit back and watch, b/c when time comes to tell her daughter why her parents divorced, then she want to give very vague answers. Yes, she plays that card of saying you need to do what's best for D2 (which is another language for doing whatever your WW wants).........but she won't think her own daughter deserves to know the true reason behind the divorce. Crazy, huh?

[Bob723]

I wish you would have answered your W by saying, "I plan to always be truthful with our daughter". Let W fret about that one!

Hi Kembo.

I had time, so I wanted to see if you replied to my post. I see Sandi posted. You are pretty new on the forum, so in case you don't know, Sandi always gives golden advice.

I would use Sandi's advice above as your mantra going forward. Of course you can't go back in time, but I urge you to follow her advice.

I am pulling for you, Kembo. I love it when people are willing to fight for their M and their family. Good for you!

Bob

[Kembo05]

That's pretty much what I said. I told her I was going to be honest with my D2 and I wasn't going to cover for my W. I told her I'll be able to tell D2 I did everything I could to make it work and I never wanted a D. Of course that was me "manipulating" her though

[Kembo05]

Just an update; had a great fathers day weekend with my D2. My sister has 2 kids and her family has really welcomed me with open arms with this entire situation. D2 and I stayed the night with them Saturday. I was dreading going back home and seeing W again. The weekend was a great distraction and it was tough walking back in the house and seeing W there. All I want to do is tell her there are now winners and losers in this; we all win or we all lose and then just asking her to slow down. I know this is pointless right now. Patience, patience, patience.

ironically, I have always prayed for more patience. Wouldn't it be ironic if this is the situation where I finally get what I have been asking for?

Hope everyone out there had a good fathers day.

[sandi2]

ironically, I have always prayed for more patience. Wouldn't it be ironic if this is the situation where I finally get what I have been asking for?

I had to smile when I read this. My dad use to tell me the more I prayed for patience, the more troubles I would have.

I suppose it's like trying to have a testimony without the test.

[Kembo05]

Looking for some encouragement/advice. Our temporary order court date is July 15th and I have a strong temptation to try and sit my W down and ask her to lean towards just a legal separation at this point. In her temporary order request she says we will sell our house, and if we do end up getting a D we will have to sell. She has just been moving so fast and I don't really care about the house I just think that is another death blow.

Is it worth trying to talk to her a couple days before the July 15th court date? I know I mentioned this in an earlier post, just looking for some more perspective.

[NDY]

Hi Kem

I'm not in the US so don't know very much about how your legal system works. I've just had a brief glance at what a temporary order request is. What is it that you and her can't agree on? Are you still in the house?

[Kembo05]

Yeah I am still in the house. L said don't leave until I am forced to because if I leave it shows the day to day interactions with my D2 aren't important to me.

We really haven't talked about our "requests" with each other. she has put her requests in and that is her official temporary order request, my L will respond to those requests this week and we will have our version of what we are requesting. hopefully that makes sense.

I just want to pose the question to my W of just separating but not continuing on with the D process. I don't know how she will view that request from me. I just don't want to sell our house and keep taking giant strides forward with the D. Again, I don't care about the house I just think if we have to sell it it will be like the point of no return for her.

To be honest, I am just getting nervous about the upcoming court date. I have been moving forward, but I still want to reconcile.