If and when your marriage works out, you h will have a lot of heavy duty work to do to show you that he is serious about reconciling. He will need to earn your trust and I do mean "earn" it. He will need to be transparent in the things he does, i.e., emails, text message, phone calls, etc. He will need to be willing to show you these things if you should ask.
Also, you should start out as friends, i.e., just as did many years ago. Both of you will need to remember that the old marriage is dead and you are starting out in a new relationship. You can't go back to the old ways and think it will work or else you will have some problems along the way. Both of you have changed in many ways.
As for physical contact...that is up to you, but I wouldn't be so willing to have sex w/him until he's proven himself to you. You don't want to be a booty call and there for his convenience. Also, he will need to be willing to go for STD testing.
You don't decide for him as to whether he wants to reconcile. He's the one that has to determine if he truly wants back in. If he doesn't, then you go your separate ways. If he does want to reconcile, YOU and only YOU can determine if you want to try again. Also, you have the power to determine whether or not you want to leave the door ajar and for how long while you continue your own journey.
There are some that crisis people that remarry, divorce and then reconnect w/their first spouses. There are some that just walk away for many years and then reconnect w/their former spouses and then you have those who don't want to do the work or think it would be too difficult to face everyone after so much time has passed and don't reconnect. Bottom line, the future is a way off and it's not something you can plan for except to live your life to the fullest and as if he may not return.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
