Can I discuss guilt and shame? They are very different in my view:
Guilt is about the things we do. I felt guilty because I ate too much and in secret . I felt guilt because of screaming banshee. Guilt can be a healthy motivator for change. I feel guilty because I neglected my Fins and business and it motivates me to action. It is a powerful tool.
Shame is about the things we are. In essence we keep what is shameful secret. My H was ashamed of his gambling and kept it secret, I felt ashamed that H abused me. Deeply ashamed. Shame creates distress in our lives. Shame needs to see the light of day, it can be healed with work. We should not feel shame for who another is, me for my H being an abuser, you for WW and her DUI. We can't cure it, we can't control it nor did we create it. It's their issue.
Shame and guilt are two different stages of child development according to Erickson
Shame vs Autonomy coming at 2-3 years old and Guilt vs Initiative coming at 3-5 years old.
So this can some times be a clue in where a child's growth is stunted when as an adult they have not learned one or two of these traits.
Just my two cents.
Interesting Cadet, could debate it a little. I am not so sure about dear old Milton and some of his psychology of development. Milton thought trance states could not be induced in children too but we know differently. We do know children appear to feel guilt and thought that children felt ashamed when younger. But as for development of adaptive patterns these are not thought to happen automatically but are responsive and llearned. They can be taught as skill sets even to adults.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
