Heavy ... yeah that forgiveness thing, one of my threads there was an amazing exchange dealing with forgiveness and just as you hit on ... Do we need the other person to ask for it ... or can we truly forgive them without this request of us.
MLCrs during crisis are not at a stage where they are even equipped to ask ... heck .. I would wager its us who needs to ask them for forgiveness because we do not accept the OP ...lol. I have talked about this topic here, and with some close to me and I am still searching for my own answer ... Do I need W to ask for forgiveness or can I truly and honestly fully forgive her without this.
Not sure if anyone watches Games of Thrones ... season finale one of the characters 'Cersei' must atone for her sins (You tube "game of thrones cersei walk of shame") ... they strip her down naked, and she must walk through the crowd (Mind you she was previously the Queen of this kingdom) ... hair chopped off, naked, with a nun waling behind her ringing a bell shouting "SHAME" every third step ... crowds form, rotten food is tossed at her, people spitting on her ... by the time she reaches the main castle and the gates open, her walk is over she breaks down in tear (Holding it together the entire walk) ... as despicable a character as she was ... It was hard for me not to compare her to my MLC'r .... and I would NEVER want my W put through that kind of hell ... even though there was a time ... I wanted her on her hands and knees begging for my mercy after the pain she inflicted.
I have accepted the fact .. pride, MLC, stubbornness will most likely not allow my W to ask for forgiveness, nor is it required for me to let it go and forgive ... not for her .. but for me to move on from the pain. It has taken a long time for me to get there, its been a long time since she has gone monster ... but for me to hang on to that was not hurting her at all ... only me .. so I decided to unpack that weight and not take it on the rest of my journey ... wasted energy if I did.
