Thanks. Yeah I remembered the well intentioned friends.
Good luck with counselling visit
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Yeah, W agreed then backed out, just after I'd paid for the session. The stuff about being biased, fawning etc. came out yesterday on the way back from the hospital.
Counselling went well, but she couldn't do a lot unless W attends. She is going to write to W to suggest she attends. The Counsellor suggested that W wasn't 'hearing' how much I wanted her, appreciated her etc. and it was like an artery blockage in that the communication had broken down.
What do we think about a letter? No rush.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Yeah, W agreed then backed out, just after I'd paid for the session. The stuff about being biased, fawning etc. came out yesterday on the way back from the hospital.
Counselling went well, but she couldn't do a lot unless W attends. She is going to write to W to suggest she attends. The Counsellor suggested that W wasn't 'hearing' how much I wanted her, appreciated her etc. and it was like an artery blockage in that the communication had broken down.
What do we think about a letter? No rush.
Letter from whom? You?
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
I think it's ok if the counselor sends a note, but I don't think it's going to work if she spills out about how much you love your W. All that's going to do is cement to your W how biased the counselor is.
I don't see how hearing that from the counselor will make anything better for you.
Now, if, instead, the counselor is sending a message about improving communication for the sake of your kids....then it may have some merit.
Yeah. Counsellor suggested that was a way of letting her 'hear' me whilst she wasn't talking to me.
NO NO NO NO NO and one more time NO. Pursuing. When is your book arriving? That will just turn her off even more (if that's possible). I know that sounds strange coming from me given what's going on in my sitch and the vets may well slap me down for saying that but I don't think that's right.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Yeah. Counsellor suggested that was a way of letting her 'hear' me whilst she wasn't talking to me.
NO NO NO NO NO and one more time NO. Pursuing. When is your book arriving? That will just turn her off even more (if that's possible). I know that sounds strange coming from me given what's going on in my sitch and the vets may well slap me down for saying that but I don't think that's right.
I'm even less of s vet, but this sounds like a terrible idea. There is no way W is going to think for a SECOND this isn't your idea.
No from me too. She knows your stance. Restating it by the MC will only get her back up even more. I'm no vet, though.
Agree letter about reopening communication being in the best interest of kids may be ok
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Nothing really going on here. Quiet night last night. W didn't ask about counselling, I didn't ask about her visit to housing. I didn't even ask how she was feeling. Don't know if that was wrong, but if I do, I can't but feel that I'd be kicked in the nuts again anyway. W off to work, so just me and the kids chilling.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
