Sorry, a misunderstanding. W's message finished with a kiss.
W called this morning and tells me she's a lot better. We had about five minutes of conversation. She sounded like old W. At the end of the conversation W said 'bye love' and then paused. I said 'see you later'. Normally we would have had a 'love you' in there. I don't know if she wanted that, so I didn't.
That would have been pursuing.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
That's why I didn't do it. W will need to make the effort. I'm off work today, so I have all the washing organised, the kids are at school. I'll be picking her up and she'll see the house is clean and tidy. That'll be actions, not words, right?
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Sorry, a misunderstanding. W's message finished with a kiss.
W called this morning and tells me she's a lot better. We had about five minutes of conversation. She sounded like old W. At the end of the conversation W said 'bye love' and then paused. I said 'see you later'. Normally we would have had a 'love you' in there. I don't know if she wanted that, so I didn't.
Think it's good that you didn't say that.. She is a bit vulnerable now and I think it would have felt good for her if you had said it just as a reassurance for her when she's low. But she knows that the reason you didn't is because of your stitch, one that she is very much in charge of.
So I would keep all that stuff on the down low for now and even though it's hard let her feel the difference of going through things with or without you.
Keep up the good work, dear Huddy. Hugs!
M: 44 H: 43 ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect. "This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15 Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15 It's over: 9/5
Well Py, you would think that might have been welcome care and attention that any woman would love.......but, I should have expected it, it wasn't.
Despite the nice phone conversations this morning and texts, when I went to get her from the hospital, WAS was back in the room.
The NHS in the UK is a wonderful thing. Free healthcare at the point of delivery. You pay via your taxes, depending on your ability to pay, with the richest paying the most. You don't pay for any services up front and you get the smae treatment if you're a roadsweeper to the Prime Minister. A fantastic institution which has sometimes got the most ridiculous protocols and rules. When I arrived, it was meal time, so I wouldn't be admitted to the ward. Then the prescription hadn't arrived, so, W wouldn't be permitted to leave. But W texts me to say consultant says she can go. Too much of right hand not knowing what left has is doing.
Eventually, after 40 minutes, gain access to ward. W seems OK and is ready to go. Started going downhill from that point onwards. W started having a go at how long it took me to come and get her. I explain all of the above and I'm met with one of those annoying little 'really' looks on her face.
As we are driving home, I casually mention that the estate agent has called and that he is sending over some paperwork to sign. That started a tirade about how I was delaying the process, being awkward etc. Then she launched into a full blown assault about her happiness and about my GAL activities over the past few days. She doesn't like me reading books etc., apparently. I didn't realise that had pi$$ed her off so much. Good, it's working.
She then re-wrote our married life to show how unhappy she was. I used some of my revision from the other day and used a validating statement about how sorry I was for her that being with me made her so unhappy. We then went to the kids sports day. As it was cold, W said she wanted to go home first to get the kids some joggers. Before I could say a word, she started to have a go at me saying 'I know you're going to tut'. Mindreading, amazing! I wasn't, why would I, but that wouldn't have helped her hissy fit.
W now needs more medication from the hospital as they had to order it in. Looks like W will be having a nice 20 mile round trip to look forward to.
Just goes to prove, you can't reason with a WAS!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
How true, I feel the same way about my WAW - "Just goes to prove, you can't reason with a WAS!"
Sending positive thoughts your way.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Off to the 'Couples Counsellor' this morning. Unfortunately W has decided not to attend. W says the counsellor was 'in my favour', 'didn't see anything my way' and 'she was fawning all over you'. Of course, it could be that you're wrong W?
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Off to the 'Couples Counsellor' this morning. Unfortunately W has decided not to attend. W says the counsellor was 'in my favour', 'didn't see anything my way' and 'she was fawning all over you'. Of course, it could be that you're wrong W?
Did she already agree to go then back out? They say that WAS's will only surround themselves with people that either support their stance or at least not protest too much. She may well see the counseling as contradicting her pov. And WAS's are never wrong, remember ;-)
Last edited by NDY; 06/19/1509:01 AM.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
They say that WAS's will only surround themselves with people that either support their stance or at least not protest too much.
This seems correct, but who are they?
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
There are plenty. The book specifically mentions this. The well intended 'friends'.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
