You are a lot like me, M, in that you want to understand things.
So are a lot of people on this board. Don’t we all want to understand things? We would not be here if we wouldn’t.
Originally Posted By: uRworthy
So, how do you let go of wanting to know? Because if you dont, it keeps you stuck. How do you allow what he says to wash over you? You have all the power here, you know. All of it. You get to decide what you think, how you react.
Originally Posted By: uRworthy
You may think that saying you want to understand isnt giving it headspace, but it is. And its not the good kind of headspace.
Maybe I’m not understanding this correctly, but I have some thoughts… I keep reading what some other vets post here, about how it is a waste of time to keep thinking about the reasons and looking for the answers, and “giving it headspace”, etc. But… They all went through this process. Yes, at the end, they had these thoughts that it was a waste of time, because they all came out of this process stronger and wiser. BUT! They all went through this process! It is just like telling a toddler who is just starting to walk “you can do it without falling and tears, you don’t need to fall, you just need to take the perfect steps and be confident and trust all people who went through this before you that it all works if you just follow the advice.” Again… I might be way off the charts here.
I think this is just a natural path towards acceptance and healing. I’ve read somewhere that it is actually a necessary step to put a story behind the broken R. This especially applies to women. I know that I need that story. It helps me to move on on a path to forgiveness and healing. I think it would prolong my healing (mind you almost 3 years now), if I would just shut down all my thoughts about WHY this happened. But again… I might be wrong. Stubborn me…
Sorry for the high jack, Mighty. I think you are doing fantastic! Keep on going!
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
