7 weeks in feels like a lifetime.

[Lynn80]

Lynn



I haven't read DR in a long time but it seems like she says "if your spouse is having an A or has stated they want a D you need to LRT". I may be wrong, I am away from my home for 2 months so I can't look it up. However, reading your story I do not see where the incentive is for your H to change his mind. Yes, he sees you being different, you are open to his advances when he makes them,you have great conversations but then you sit home while he goes to the bar or he leaves to go see OW. As long as he is involved with OW, you should not be having any relationship conversations. Yes, let him see you being different (not freaking out) but you want to be friendly and detached. He needs to respect you and he needs to know that you aren't just going to sit around and wait while he goes off with his EA.

Thanks for sharing. I am LRT for sure. I joined boot camp three days a week, go out with new friends once per week. He has noticed but not enough to want back in. I keep my 180s and do not pursue.

Tell me- in your situation were you hesitant to recommit because you still weren't feeling loved by your spouse? I would love to know more around what is happening in my H head. I know he is confused and scared. I know how good it feels to be wanted and needed and he wasn't feeling that way from me. I know he is scared I will revert to being negative and he is afraid it will get better for a short time and go south again. I also know he needs his time and I can't control it not wait it out.