I'm sorry that your H is acting that way right now. Mine just withdraws and sulks. I've gotten better at ignoring that, where I used to try and pacify him. I do ask if he wants to talk, but if he says no, I say a very airy "ok" and move on.
I think it was Cadet that asked me how old my H was acting. How old do you think your H is acting right now?
{{{hugs}}} E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Hmmm, hard to say. Somewhere between 17-21. I think he thinks our M robbed him of experiencing real college life, so now he is going back and living it now. Or terrible twos.
Just keeps saying how for the first time in long time he is focusing on his needs and doing what is right for him. Me, me, me stage. This is after being given the opportunity to go back to school the past 13 years and that has been the focus through out our M. Sigh...
Last edited by BW05; 06/17/1508:06 PM.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
PP, Matt, Teach, Zephyr, and Toots, thank you so much for reassuring me that I'm making the right move! I woke up this morning feeling calm, so I too think I made the right choice. A change that I choose to make rather than it being forced on me.
Toots, I will try really hard not to worry about the fall and my H. I know what he does is his concern, but I still have problems detaching. Hopefully, with the return for me to full time work, I will find it easier.
Now, speaking of my H, he informed me last night that he is doing a hiking/camping trip the 4th of July weekend. I said, "That sounds like fun!" and left it at that as I was headed out to teach agility.
Do I ask him where, if he's going alone, anything? Or just leave it at what I already said?
If I find if I ever don't know what to do or say, it's better to just do or say nothing. What information will you get by asking....some story he already has planned to tell you. It's not like he would ACTUALLY tell you if he was going with someone you disapprove of.
And I'm totally turning red at your compliment. I like helping people if I can.
Hello Eirinn!
I have no idea how many times you've helped me or I've noticed you helping others. You deserve the compliment!
I'm really happy to hear that you are trying to stay in the moment and not stress about the future. I feel that has helped me so much. Of course, there are always bumps in the road (like the nasty text I got from my W last Friday) but try to stick with it. I feel like it helps me detach which, as you know, probably gives you your best chance at R with your H.
I truly love your spirit and love you as I do my sisters. Can you please be my sister? LOL
Take care of yourself.
Your "brother" and friend,
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
LOL! Your "new" brother is doing well, thanks so much for asking. Again, you brought a smile to my face, see...
I'm so glad that your day was a "happy busy" one.
Good luck this weekend with the other in-laws, my "new" sister!
xoxo
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I had a set back today. H still says he is coming in but is back pedaling fast on the "And I will be happy part" which I knew was insane but wanted to believe so bad. What's left of my heart is crushed. He is so cruel sometimes and is into saying he is only looking out for himself. YUCK!
I'm so sorry, Teach. I've been checking your thread daily as I was wondering what was happening for you. We really can't have expectations of our WAS as they are so screwed up right now.
Have you read Cadet's link to you on setting boundaries? It seems like you need to set some with your H. You are not deserving of this kind of behavior.
On the flip side, the best way to not let him get to you is for you to GAL. It is hard to do, I know, but you need to focus on you and your S. It will help with the hurt and confusion, help you to be more confident and knowledgeable about yourself, and the totally confuse your H. He's expecting you to react to his lukewarm offer to move back in and you need to stay cool and detached. Don't react to him as it's what's he's looking for.
I'll check back in with you later and am sending you lots of prayers.
hugs
E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Hey there eirinn, glad to see you busy. That is super awesome. Hope during your running around and the like you take a few moments to treat yourself to something nice, fun, yummy...whatever suits you.
