Pushing Through

[Painter]

I just got caught up on the latest development. I think your answer to her should just reiterate what you already have said (and these are all my own reasons for saving my own marriage plus everything else I can think of, so pick and choose) and maybe add an idea for moving one step forward:

- You don't want a divorce for a number of reasons: The vows you made. The child you have. The love you had and have for each other and for that child. The financial and practical hardship it would mean for all of you, including your child, which is now becoming so obvious with the involvement of lawyers.

- You realize that she is not feeling the same way right now. You realize she is emotionally involved with someone else. There are difficult choices in the future for everyone.

- However, you feel it is too soon and too much turmoil to make these life-changing choices that will impact your son so drastically, right now. You are certain that is impossible to make a clear-headed choice about a marriage while a third party involved.

- You don't expect her to go back to the M you had, and you don't want that M, either. But you want her to take time by herself to contemplate this life-changing decision, and not leave any stone unturned before deciding whether she thinks it is possible to rebuild a marriage where you both get your needs met.

- Perhaps a solution would be an organized separation where you both refrain from seeing others while you focus on what it would take for you both to be happy as a couple and a family.