Ugh - somewhat triggered again. Got email from lawyer that ww lawyer is wanting all financial records for the last year as part of the discovery process. All standard, I'm sure.
However, ww, her attorney nor my attorney have gotten back to me on the status of the temporary separation agreement we sent to ww 5/15. It was supposed to go into effect 6/1. If she didn't agree to it, we'd have a hearing.
So frustrating. Have a call out to my lawyer to find out what's going on, since ww is choosing not to communicate.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
Talked with Attorney. Said the discovery paperwork is full the final settlement anyway and is normal. Did say she countered my offer with a halfway point from what I proposed to what she initially proposed. My attorney felt with the little difference between the two sides that we shouldn't need a hearing to settle things. I'm hoping that's the case too. This would just be for the temporary agreement, everything is up in the air for the final.
So far, ok. I meet with the ww and kids tonight to tell them officially about the divorce and selling our home. I actually feel ok about this, because after all the chit and bad things, I have no doubt about us being unified when it comes to the two of them.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
Wrap up. Told the boys we were getting divorced. Ultimately I told them that there were things we just couldn't agree on and while mommy is an amazing mommy and daddy tries to be an ok dad, we just aren't good at being a husband or wife for each other right now. Told them numerous times it wasn't their fault, that we loved them and that we both would always be there for them. Also told them we were selling the house.
Youngest brushed it off, he hates uncomfortable moments. Oldest took it hard and started crying. I eventually did too. When he looked at me with tears in his eyes, I just felt like I failed him or let them down.
I now know that's not the case, but it was one of the toughest things have ever done. I actually, strangely feel better now. No more hard convos in the near future it seems.
Spoke with ww after and told her thanks for letting us tell them together and being a team. I appreciated it. She shared she went to the doctor today, has been sleeping like hell and is vitamin deficient and ill. She did look like chit. I told her I was very sorry to hear that and I really do hope she takes care of herself.
She said she was trying.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
Ultimately I told them that there were things we just couldn't agree on and while mommy is an amazing mommy and daddy tries to be an ok dad,
Give yourself more credit, you are more than an "ok dad", you are doing great. The way you handled the situation with the kids shows you are putting them above your own emotions. You could easily react and attack W but you choose to do whats right for yourself and the kids. No easy way to explain such a complicated situation them but you did great.
Keep reassuring them when needed no matter what happens between you and W they will be taken care of, that whats happening has nothing to do with them and you and W both love them.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
So far, so good. Finalizing the Real Estate agreement to put house on the market and getting discovery paperwork ready for when we get our hearing to finalize things.
Boys are both doing well so far after we did the bomb drop on them. Here's my upcoming GAL activities:
-Headed up to Omaha for work and will take the boys, they can spend time with my sisters.
-Friday will be spending time with friends and the boys. Catching up with people I haven't seen in a while.
-Saturday - have a surprise 30th bday for one of my friends in the afternoon and then a volleyball tournament starting at 8pm
-Sunday - Father's Day. Will have my sons, but haven't decided yet what to do with the two of them. May check out the Omaha Zoo if it's nice.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Rip, Great GAL activities planned. Have a great weekend and an even better Father's Day!
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
