I think it is important to keep emotions in check throughout this process. When people are emotional or feel strongly about a topic/matter, the timbre of communications can really escalate and people do say regrettable things that they cannot take back.
It is important to remember that you've already communicated the no-OM boundary and no D desire to W. She clearly knows where you stand. No need to repeat them ad nausem nor in a shrill, girly voice.
The communicaton books that have helped me immensely during my own DB journey are as follows:
Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg
People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts by Robert Bolton
The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listein Can Improve Relationships by Michael Nichols
All of ^^ these books dovetails very nicely with Divorce Remedy.
There's this other book that I found helpful in business communications and I've utilized some of the techniques in my other communications as well.
The A to Z of Being Understood: Make your Voice Heard and Conversations Count by Kay White
