Toots - all words that you have offered me say the truth about my life right now. I guess the anger is one of the last feeling to process before letting it go for real.
I am really struggling to let go. For me, it does not mean that I will hope H is coming back, letting go for me means that I will close that door and will not want to open again.
I know it is very dramatic and does not need to be that way, but that is the way I process things inside of me. Maybe I learned the wrong way, I don't know, I just know that is does not work both ways inside of me.
Right now, it is not about his texts as much, but it is the lack of sensibility from his part. In my mind I think that if you do not want to be with someone anymore, then leave that person alone and make it easier for her to start building her life.
I feel angry to the fact that he disregard everything and still feel the right to report his stuff, his life. When no one's life is important for him.
I guess my next boundary will make it clear to him that I do not want to know anything about his life anymore.
It does not matter for me anymore if he is here, gone, traveling, having a belly ache or whatever. He wants to D me, so be gone for good.
I know that all this should not bother me and I need to get busy with my life and just let go on everything. And even knowing all this I feel disrespected by what he is doing.
And it is easier said then done. The mess that he is leaving behind is very real. I am the one to hold my kid's life together. I am the one to recognize all the issues and schedule IC and go to appointments. I am the one with the responsibilities to hold life together while "Don Juan" goes out and about shopping for new clothes and having fun.
So, it is right, he must go for good. The more I think and write, the bigger is the hate inside me.
And you are all right, I tough I was doing good, but I think the real work is just starting. I will talk to my IC about my feelings and all my reactions. Right now, I am determined that no matter what this idiot will be out of my life.
I am having a hard time. I was not feeling so hurt before, but I am now.
Sunny - The whole issue was really because it was my birthday and he kept texting me for other reasons. He did not just wish me Happy B-Day you stupid S**t. Instead, it was all about him again. He is so centered in himself, "Don Juan" can't see anything in front of his nose.
I will treat myself, I will work on the anger issue because it is not right for me and won't do any good to my future. But, I am very sure that I want this man away from me, and he will understand it very clear.
